Venting

 It started in Fingle Dan’s chat, with people wondering why McConnel (a.k.a. “Benchguy”) was acting weird. I explained it was probably because Asmongold had just been announced as streaming on Kick.

Apparently, that was a trigger.

The chat turned into a roast pit. People started trashing Asmongold, saying things like “Who would even like him?” or “Why would anyone watch him?” So I simply said, “I do.”

That was enough.

Suddenly, I was being called a neo-Nazi and a Nazi supporter. I was stunned. People kept asking if I was joking, and I couldn’t process it. I always thought Asmongold was being sarcastic when he talked about avoiding certain people because even a mention of his name would get them hate. I didn’t believe him.

Until now.

I jumped into Penta’s Discord to ask what was going on—and the same thing happened there. So I left.

Fast Forward: The Subathon Saga

During the subathon, Penta lost a court case about whether cops can kick cars if it’s not endangering lives. I made a light joke—“You should create a character who kicks cars,” just playing around. Then boom—banned.

The ban email said I was “Encouraging or Glorifying Extreme Violence.” Honestly? For a Kappa-tier joke?

When I rejoined Penta’s Discord, my nickname defaulted to imsweettea. I’ve been in that server for years. My name had always been StrawberryPancake—a Twitch handle, minus an “r.” But now you can’t change nicknames without Nitro, and I haven’t bought that in forever. People thought I was new. Someone checked and said, “Oh, they’re that one guy,” and someone else added, “Yeah, maybe better everybody else didn’t know.” I still clarified who I was. I said I was leaving, just giving everyone a heads-up. The mod ping everybody a warning about it. They convinced me to stay for whatever reason. Shapie even apologized for overreacting. I said it was all good. So I stayed.

That night, Penta said to check out the public server. Fortnite was down, so I wandered in. Since he encouraged new people to try the unscripted RP servers, and I thought—maybe this could be okay?

Some other time during the subathon, after I got home from helping clean my grandma's house. Long story with that. She quit taking care of herself. She won't wash herself or move around... She's kinda just waiting to die at this point. I think we all caught something from being at there. After all the dead skin and dead bugs, I wouldn't doubt it. Well anyway.. 

I had actually planned to resub to him on the 16th, my birthday. Last year he even told me happy birthday. That was cool. So I made a new account—LadyBlazerine—and subbed. Didn’t even mention it was my birthday. Just complimented the public server and said his bracelet looked cool. (If you get it, you get it.) I did it wrong, though. I mess up. I put the message in before the sub. It didn't get noticed anyway. So it didn't matter. XD 

Halfway into the stream... 

I had a migraine, took some edibles, got a little high—which made roleplay with Bobcat even funnier. I remember saying, “Is this real life right now?” I was cracking up. I always ask or say is this real for something unbelievably stupid or funny. 

Then chat turned on me. Fast.

They said I was a ban evader. I tried to explain who I was, suggested we whisper to avoid derailing chat—but you can’t reason with someone who’s emotionally spiraling. I just logged out.

Later I started wondering… what if Shapie is part of why I was banned? People said to go to him for help. But what if he's the source of the problem in the first place? Then I was like, could it maybe be my twitter? Me? Nobody knows? Whatever is happening, I'm just getting ahead of it first. Cause holy shit. I'm not used to this. 

The Aftermath

I can’t recover my old account. I’ve had two phones since then—my family is dealing with bankruptcy, so things have been chaotic. I don’t even know if I ever had a number linked. And Twitch support? Might as well whisper into a void. Some hackers said they could unban it, and now… I think it might actually be unbanned? That's what Shapie said. But how am I supposed to know if it wasn't them?  Like, hello? I’m not psychic. 😂I told them not to on Twitter, though.

So yeah. If I’m being canceled for liking Asmongold or supporting @StopAntisemites, I’ve already left the discords and friend groups where that might blow back on others. I’m just tired. I left PlanetSprite. I feel bad asf. I was making him free art and writing. I might try to sneak back in there after a cooldown. I promise him I would see the MMO through til the end. I don't wanna be a liar. I'm mostly worried about NoHandsKen. I was his mod on twitch for years. I even ran his youtube channel myself. It was hard to set up everything. It made me cry a bit. I don't usually cry, lol. 

I decided to leave the RP discords and GTA servers too. The truth is, I don’t know who’s a streamer and who isn’t—and I don’t want anyone getting caught in the crossfire just because I was around. It’s probably for the best. I was only there for four days, so it’s not like I was deeply involved. I doubt it’ll mess up anyone’s storylines or character arcs. That’s a relief, honestly. I ain't going to lie, though. That's the most fun I have ever had in a long time. I will miss it.